Thursday, January 24, 2008

A friend and I were having a talk.

It’s a certain rule in life that if you have a community with both men and women and give them enough time ,romance will blossom.
It’s an accepted fact in Universities. In our day to day life. And also, as I have come to realize lately, in Blogsville.
I’m probably a bit naïve. When I started blogging I had midst my expectations, an outlet for my depression. A site for laughing at my day’s silliness. A spot wherein I could read about other peoples daily life. Their nuances and highs. I went to blogsville for hope. Romance was not on the list.
In retrospect I should have seen it coming. What better avenue for the sprouting of Romance can one hope to find than one where a persons innermost thoughts and fears are shared.
Romance must occur.
And it did.
Not to me. Not yet.

It happened to two people who have become very good friends of mine.
Fellow bloggers.
The male I shall call Banjo. and the female I shall call Badjer.
Are we ready?
Here’s the story.

Banjo met Badjer over our lovely network called blogspot. It started slow. Each read the others posts and left comments for the other. After a couple of post they came to realize that they shared more than a liking for the site. They shared a similarity in ideas, values and tastes. A couple more days and one of them mustered the courage to take the relationship out of the land of animosity into that of email addresses,numbers and voices. Phone numbers where exchanges. Calls where made. And Cupid sat back and patted himself well done for another good days work.

I watched happy as the relationship took off. They spent days calling each other. I would go visit Banjo in his apartment and meet him on the phone. I’d seat next to him and watch all three installments of the Lord of the Ring trilogy. After the final scene I would turn to look at him and there he would be. Still smiling and chatting happily at Badjer.
It was love.
Trust me.

For two weeks I watched enviously as their love grew. It got annoying when Banjo wouldn’t stop talking about her.
Badjer just called.
Do you think Badjer would like me to wear this shirt?
I’m wondering what Badjer is doing right now?
Is it wrong for me to call her back? I just spoke to her 5 minutes ago?
The lingo of a man smittened with a female.

It was lovely.
And I think I ruined it.

You see eventually I got to chat with Badjer. I was Banjo’s good friend. We were both bloggers. The odds of me talking to Badjer where high.
So we got talking. She was a lovely lady. I could see why Banjo was as smitten with her as he was. She was so graceful on the phone. She had a lovely voice. Her words painted visions of heaven and roses and chocolates and Playstation 3.
It was promise of heaven.
Banjo was a lucky guy.
And I think I ruined it.

You see, I gave her my facebook address. Nothing to it. Just an innocent act of friendship. It changed everything. Thanks to the genius developers of Spacebook she was able to visit the page of Banjo. She went there and flipped.
Thing is Banjo is a very social person. Very. He had over 120 friends. Not bad.. The Dali lama has 130. Anyways… the catch was 118 of them where female.
I suppose given the nature of their meeting she thought that maybe she was just one of the many girls that he was spouting words of love too.
She was in doubt she was worried. So she did what she thought was best.
She called him and asked for his password.
Password to his email and Spacebook accounts.

Banjo was confused. He had no idea why she wanted his passwords. He was also wary. Why did she want his passwords? He decided to meet her half way. He gave her his face book password but firmly refused to divulge his e-mail.

They had a big fight over it.
She yelled about him not trusting her.
He yelled about her not trusting him.
Cupid was somewhere in Iraq during all this.
Anyway, as is bound to happen, things where said out in anger and all of a sudden the perfect relationship seems at an early end.
And it’s my entire fault.

See. I feel guilty, if I hadn’t given her my face book address she wouldn’t have gone to his page. If she hadn’t visited his page she wouldn’t have seen things that would have fanned the flames of her doubts.
If she hadn’t doubted him then they wouldn’t have had the fight.
I’m guilty. Guilty. Guilty.
What shouild i tell him? Is he really guilty?
Morally right?


desperate lady said...


UnNaked Soul said...

don't be so guilty son. one thing you can do is to make sure they stay strong together... so start working! *wink*

desperate lady said...

Wow! i think u should just let them be, maybe they weren't meant to be together.
And if this ur friend really cared about her, then why was he messing around?
Boy it's not ur fault at all, ur such a sweetpie *my honey bunch*.
love u baby.

Toochi said...

i don't remember saying it was i that felt guilty.

i said a friend narrated a story to me.

sheeesh! :D

Hengish said...

Your friend shouldn't feel guilty.

Badjer's insecurity was just a timed bomb ticking away in the background.

I think it's an over -reaction on her part.

Banjo must really like her to let go of some of his privacy.

Facebook is the death of most relationships.

I forgot to add 118 female friends out of 130.


Toochi said...

@ hengish: well?
is it really?

fantasy queen said...

DL...not again, jeez!

romance heh? wondering who would want to romance me on blogville....still wondering...

some of the worlds greatest flirts are the best lovers,and completely harmless, cos its just an art to them with no evil intention.
so either she lives with the fact that he was born to flirt in a good mannered way(?)or she craps cos shes got security issues, or else she'd toast herself up with worrying over nut.

and u is the bad guy revealing secrets eh?....

princesa said...

Eh ya…your friend(or is it you?) didn’t mean to spoil a good thing. I don’t think something like that should end their love anyway. There has to be some trust in every relationship for it to stand the test of time.

princesa said...

Eh ya…your friend(or is it you?) didn’t mean to spoil a good thing. I don’t think something like that should end their love anyway. There has to be some trust in every relationship for it to stand the test of time.

Opinionated Diva said...

Chick sounds a bit wacko asking for his password (has that become the norm these days and I didn't know?).

I can understand how she must feel about dude having SO many female acquaintences (sp?)...hell I stay away from men who have too many female friends myself...but you don't ask for dude's password.

You should not feel guilty. If anything you did your friend a favor...really.

Opinionated Diva said...

I mean...your FRIEND should not feel guilty.

Opinionated Diva said...

Seriously though...are you THIS FRIEND or the dude with all the female friends?


Queen of My Castle said...

Babes, I don't think your friend did anything wrong. Though I understand the plight of the young dame because sometimes it's hard to swallow the fact that your man has many female friends, but then again it's only Facebook. Who's to say he actually knows all of them and if he was fooling around I doubt he would have given her his password. Babe has mayjuh trust issues

fantasy queen said...

y do i feel u're talking 'bout unnaked? he's the one with a thousand chics on FB, and a terrible flirt...
shei u dig ba? wink at me if i'm

Orientatednaijababe said...

Ur friend shud not feel guilty....i am sure d girl wud have found a way to his facebook account anyways....The girl needs to sort out her insecurity issues..she shud give d dude a break, as long as he has nothing to do with any of the girls on FB she shud not be worried

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

negggar is facebook oh..abi is there another thing called spacebook?

Honeywell said...

don't beat yourself up... this is primarily an issue of trust... maybe she already kinda had her doubts or fears about the whole thing... and this just fueled that... but trying helping them out... let them come to a point where they can talk and such... i hope things work out...

LMAO @cupid in iraq! oh my goodness.....

Honeywell said...

and i agree with hengish.... een if i was unsure of my bf, i don't think flipping out about his having so many female friends on a website is a way to solve anything....

Toochi said...

hehe...wll i did sayt it was my is really...:D
not me;)
and yes zephi...spacebook exists(in the story i'm telling):)
fantasy queen....are you sure noone has a blog crush on you?
maybe some guy named C?:D
bottom line! what will be will be.

Rayo said...

I don't think the friend is guilty at all...I see it as a test of the trust. She started doubting his honesty without even asking him about it, and he got angry for not understanding her concern.

I hope things work out for them. But for the most part, the friend is definitely not guilty.

Afrobabe said...

How can she ask him for his passwords? totally uncalled for...

Hengish said...

Toochi I don't think C would appreciate you opening his a** on blogsville.

little miss me said...

i think the spacebook fight was bound to happen,was just a matter of time before they exchanged spacebook accounts and blah blah your friend shouldn't beat himself/herself up.

Allied said...

Dont feel guilty, Things like these happens.. she asked for his passwords? Na wa oh

fantasy queen said...

oooo, i'm so telling on u! ur accusations must be punished.

Carlang said...

You can meet love in blogsville.
Men i've been slacking...
where do i get the phone numbers?

Hang in there chap.
It wasnt your.. er friends fault...


bumight said...

@ Toochi: if you think you ruined it, then you ruined it. feel better now? lol, just kidding
I think she'd have found out sooner or later, I mean its not that hard to open a fb account is it? don't think its ur fault.

@ carl: u mean u don't know where to get the numbers from?
men, dude, u are SLACKING!!! lol

Ubong Da said...

No mind the babe jare na insecurity dey worry am. Why should she ask for his password sef can you imagine the guts. Tell your friend say good ridance o. Those kind of babes are the ones who start a fight if their husband so much as give a lift to a female neighbour or collegue sef. No man needs that kind of stress in his life. Tell him he is better off without an insecure and jelous babe.

darkelcee said...


tel ur friend not to feel guilty.

whatever will be will be.

they all need to calm down, take a deep breath and start all over again.

thanks for stopping by.

Queen of My Castle said...

update please

Bubbles said...

She needs to deal with her trust issues. You did nothing wrong.

Jaycee said...

Eyahhhhhhhh...actually that's all I can say. Lol.

The moral cannot be not to give out ur FB addy. No one will listen. Lol.

TinTin said...

hey dont feel was going to happen anyways!!!

eFJay said...

I love ur blog!!!

Anonymous said...

see its clear you were covering up the face book thing, until you actually WROTE it!:
[[ You see, I gave her my facebook address.... She called him and asked for his password.
Password to his email and Spacebook accounts..... I feel guilty, if I hadn’t given her my face book address she wouldn’t have gone to his page.]]
obviously it was a slip of hand, but we all caught on, so dont act all innocent a la your response to hengish's comment:
@ hengish: well?
is it really?

ok i'm a major gbeborun, so i'ma mind my business now!