Thursday, February 21, 2008


As a child, I really did enjoy my freedom….so much so that I’d love to play in the rain, run loose in my nakedness…but no. I didn’t enjoy that for too long.

Sheesh!!! Me and my civilized parents!

Well down the line, things started changing. I was introduced to pants (briefs):) ... i started to think it was cool then I began having favourite colours of them….red….blue….green. then came the patterned designs. This was forcefully introduced into my life (the things kids go through…hardly ever have a say in their personal affairs). I must confess, I did have a few types of underwear I hated terribly, the white ones I wore. I dreaded them. So anytime “white underwear day” I always came home from school without them
(I bet you are curious where and when I had the time to take em off :) ).

Truth is there came a time I really loved to flaunt my underwear. This was when I had my favourite superheroes plastered on em. From superman to ninja turtles to batman….it was endless. Loved it so much so that boys used to compare their underwear to see who had the “kick ass” superhero of the day.

For some reason, a time came and pants were phased out of my life and boxer shorts were introduced to me…i’ve pretty much worn boxer shorts for well over 13years of my life. It became indoor clothing for me :D. I thoroughly enjoyed the boxer short era so much so that I even had to put up a question on facebook :) “boxers or briefs?” . I got the desired responses to the question…. At this, I’m saying men should give up the idea of briefs. Well at least I thought so until Sunday evening.

Friday (15th of Feb.) afternoon came around and my brother had less than 24hours to come into the country. So I text him at first then “hey man what’s up? Hoping it’s not too late to throw in a last minute request? Pls get me some sets of boxer shorts and……” .

An hour later he called me to tell me I was indeed late. “I’m already at the airport” he said…”sorry”. Damn! I thought to myself as my emotions came crashing. “no new boxer shorts for me.” That was all I had in my head through Saturday and on Sunday afternoon as I was on my way home.

Arriving my destination (not home yet) I went and did the first bit of the stuff I came home for…. Met up with my brother in the hospital (to visit someone most dear to me). On leaving the hospital, we (he, I and my sis) caught up on things. Getting home, I see the his suitcase in the room…this and that over the place. Then he says “these are for you, I got them before you asked me for the boxer shorts”. I thought to myself…”did this dude buy me briefs?” cos that was the first thing I was able to make out from reading the pack. “sigh” they weren’t briefs….. They were the the things I thought weirdest.

They were boxer briefs…. He said to me “they are a lot better than bpxer shorts for me…more absorbent n all”…..

Well…I tried em out…I loved it…particularly the em bulge in the front and back:D… really comfortable though. Ladies you might want to recommend em for your men. Say you wanna get turned on easily ;)…

Anyways, the first I wore was red…a friend of mine said “you look fantastic tooch! Run around without your jeans”…lol

That’s about it for me now….i’ve found something new and they are my first ever.

I love em… Do you?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Dude, Where’s my flame?

My flames gone.


Last year I was on fire.

I met a girl at some point in July.

Really stunning bomb. Lovely eyes. Fantastic legs. Her list of perfection was so long it would fill up an entire Cosmo magazine. She was a challenge.

So I walked up to her.

Said hi.

She said hi back.

We kissed 2 weeks later. And I’m not talking the Arabian kind.

I’m talking kissing as in French. Paris.

Me developing an Eiffel tower.


2 weeks


In August I met another chick. Lovely girl. Fantastic eyes. She might not have been as fantastic as Miss July but she was close. Close to a Cosmo mag edition. Now that’s hot isn’t it? Miss July had left me. Seems Miss July had a boyfriend. Some guy who lived in America and was due to return. I had to take a hike. We had kissed. Maybe more. Stop wondering.

So Miss July had left for true love. Sad but inevitable.

The rules of Rock paper scissors.

I’m hot and all, but love beats fire.

Miss July was gone. I was without a kiss mate. It was inevitable that I had to find someone else. SO come August I stopped feeling kinda sorry for myself and kinda got to work.

I went to the palms. I have a friend who told me that everything is sold at the palms. Even wives and girlfriends. He wasn’t wrong. The palms is a great pick up spot. It’s got al the essentials for romance. You meet a girl. You walk into a bar. Buy her a drink. Take her upstairs watch a movie. 2 movies after you hit the jewel store and buy her a diamond ring. You walk in single and you walk out engaged.

Thank you for shopping. Please come back again.

The advertising power of a face book community without the associated delay.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Palms.

So I met Miss August at the palms.

Believe the Hype.

I was standing upstairs at the cinema lounge trying to decide between re-watching Die hard 4 or finally watching the latest Harry Porter installment.

I was staring thoughtfully at the stairs and then she walked up. I’ve told this story a hundred times but no one believes me. What’s the greatest single movie moment in James Bond’s Die another day?

Did you say the end credits?

Well... yes…. possibly.

But other than that what might be the next?

I’ll tell you.

Halle Berry walking up the stairs from the beach clad in that bikini. DO you remember the scene? The hips. The sway. The way time seemed to pause with each swing from side to side.

Does anyone remember that scene?

Can anyone possibly forget?

I hear God watched the scene and whispered to himself

“Damn it. I’m good.”

Just rumor.


Miss August knocked the scene out of my head.

Hold the bat, hit the ball, it’s a home run.

She cleared the scene right out of my head.

Halle Berry’s walk was good but Miss August’s version?

I had a mini orgasm on the spot.

She gave me a look as she topped the stairs. Her lip gloss begged to be smudged.

I gave a quirky smile. And walked over.

I was nervous mind you. My hands where all jittery. I tried clenching but that didn’t work so I just stuck em in my pocket. Fortunately I was wearing a pair of jeans so they didn’t look like I had chickens hidden in them.

I wish I had a drink.

Martini. Shaken not stirred.

Nice one Bond.

I was nervous. But I dug in and played my cards

Took me one minute and I had her number.

One minute,


That was me.

The rest of the year went on like that.

Almost every week I met some gorgeous chick

Everything I said was funny.

Everything I did was cool. I was like Africans version of Casanova. Mr. Cool.

Dbanj’s mentor. A better looking Don Jazzy.

Way better!

I was on fire.

My friends just didn’t understand it. What’s your secret? They asked me.

I just smiled, laughed and asked that I be not disturbed till the next morning,

I wish I had told them back then because whatever the secret was, I need it now.

You see my fire’s gone.

Gone. Gone. Gone.

All off a sudden I woke up to realize that I don’t have any chick to call when I’m lonely.

And it’s not from want of trying.

It’s like my fairy godmother went for some seminar in Iraq and got shot.

My MOjo’s all gone.

I tried to chat up a chick yesterday.
She wasn’t even that good looking. Nothing like Miss Cosmopolitan. She barely managed to qualify for a sun girl.

But I was testing my powers. I wanted to see if I still had it.

You’re reading my post. You’ve seen the title. I don’t have to spell it out do I?

Because… I don’t have it.

She turned me down. Not badly mind you. She laughed. Said how cute I was. Ignored all my advances and walked away.


Mr. Fire?

She walked away.

Is it a valentine thing or what?

SO now it’s been 2 months without a girl.

I can’t figure out what the hell’s going on.

And I ask you.

Dude, Where’s my flame?”

Sunday, February 3, 2008


Whenever the month of February comes up there are three things in the air.
The shock that the first month of the year is gone and with it the novelty of the New Year. Once again time has rudely reminded us that it waits for no man. It’s all well and good if we want to celebrate New Year forever but as far as it’s concerned. New Year ended one second after midnight on the first.
The sad realization that we have broken almost all of our New Year resolution and accomplished virtually none our goals.
Valentine. And with it the spirit of love.

It’s obvious given the above choices which of the three I am going to talk about. We never really get to talk enough about it anyway.
Yes I am talking about love.
The warm cuddly feeling you get in the pits of your stomach when you meet the right person.
Does anyone know what I’m talking about?
You do?
Well that’s good because I wouldn’t mind someone explaining it all to me.
Thing is. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.

Oh sure. I’ve had girlfriends—Well, just two girlfriends—But looking back at them I have come to question more and more the sincerity of our relationship’s claim to love. Was I really in love? Was my lack of love a reflection of my cold heartedness or was the issue really the question of love’s credibility.
Is there really anything known as love?
Does love exist?

We watch movies and see instances of acclaimed love. We’ve all watched Titanic. Can we forget Leonardo’s claim to love. His act of unselfish kindness where he surrenders his board—his only source of survival in the middle of the Atlantic ocean---to a girl who he has only met for 24 hours.
We all know the story. He ended up dying because of his act. He froze in the Atlantic while Rose, saved from the unforgiving chills of the ocean, lived to watch his plummet into the shadowy depth of the Ocean. The movie soared up the box office charts and in the hearts of female.
Every girl I know cried when she spoke of the movie.
To all that was love symbolized.
Which brings to fore The question?
Was it?

With barely 2 weeks to go before valentine (yes I said it) I have come to hope that maybe this year I will finally come to experience my first valentine. I have never had a valentine.
Odd I suppose but true.
Every year I have sought to find and experience the feeling that all have mentioned. The feeling of rightness with a female.
And vice versa.
But it is yet to happen.
With my growing failure list I have become increasingly skeptical about the existence of love.
Does it exist?....
What is love actually?
It is a question I will continually ask till I have experienced it. But for now I leave you this little inside into my definition of love…It is a creation of our mind, an imagination and fantasy we sort so hard to experience and create the feelings we acclaim as such because our minds grasping so desperately for this…love…creates it in other to appease itself and us as well. Yes…I think that definition will stand for now…well until I have found what I am looking for.

Have a lovely month of love everyone.