Sunday, February 3, 2008


Whenever the month of February comes up there are three things in the air.
The shock that the first month of the year is gone and with it the novelty of the New Year. Once again time has rudely reminded us that it waits for no man. It’s all well and good if we want to celebrate New Year forever but as far as it’s concerned. New Year ended one second after midnight on the first.
The sad realization that we have broken almost all of our New Year resolution and accomplished virtually none our goals.
Valentine. And with it the spirit of love.

It’s obvious given the above choices which of the three I am going to talk about. We never really get to talk enough about it anyway.
Yes I am talking about love.
The warm cuddly feeling you get in the pits of your stomach when you meet the right person.
Does anyone know what I’m talking about?
You do?
Well that’s good because I wouldn’t mind someone explaining it all to me.
Thing is. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love.

Oh sure. I’ve had girlfriends—Well, just two girlfriends—But looking back at them I have come to question more and more the sincerity of our relationship’s claim to love. Was I really in love? Was my lack of love a reflection of my cold heartedness or was the issue really the question of love’s credibility.
Is there really anything known as love?
Does love exist?

We watch movies and see instances of acclaimed love. We’ve all watched Titanic. Can we forget Leonardo’s claim to love. His act of unselfish kindness where he surrenders his board—his only source of survival in the middle of the Atlantic ocean---to a girl who he has only met for 24 hours.
We all know the story. He ended up dying because of his act. He froze in the Atlantic while Rose, saved from the unforgiving chills of the ocean, lived to watch his plummet into the shadowy depth of the Ocean. The movie soared up the box office charts and in the hearts of female.
Every girl I know cried when she spoke of the movie.
To all that was love symbolized.
Which brings to fore The question?
Was it?

With barely 2 weeks to go before valentine (yes I said it) I have come to hope that maybe this year I will finally come to experience my first valentine. I have never had a valentine.
Odd I suppose but true.
Every year I have sought to find and experience the feeling that all have mentioned. The feeling of rightness with a female.
And vice versa.
But it is yet to happen.
With my growing failure list I have become increasingly skeptical about the existence of love.
Does it exist?....
What is love actually?
It is a question I will continually ask till I have experienced it. But for now I leave you this little inside into my definition of love…It is a creation of our mind, an imagination and fantasy we sort so hard to experience and create the feelings we acclaim as such because our minds grasping so desperately for this…love…creates it in other to appease itself and us as well. Yes…I think that definition will stand for now…well until I have found what I am looking for.

Have a lovely month of love everyone.


bumight said...

first! where are u DL? lol!

bumight said...

awww... will you be my valentine?

Toochi said...

@ bumight n;)

Allied said...

Love has different meaning to each person but you know most people miss it because they dont recognize it.

I hope you know it this year and forever...

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

love the blog

jus passin tru

Afrobabe said...

Hmmm...I personally think love is a decision...once you have decided to love, nothing can hold u back...If you decide it isn't love then u start seeing all the negatives in a person...believe me there are a million to see...and u start getting frustrated.

so decide today and marvel at how easy it was all along..

Rinsola said...

It's okay enuff that your definition would only be temporary. I pray you experience it soon, and please share when you do. have fun

desperate lady said...

lol @ bumight.....ur just lucky today, it won't happen again.
yeah love exists, it's the feeling you have for know the feeling where you wait for my call before you go to bed, when u wake up.....even when ur asleep lol.
love u babe.

Hengish said...

Word association

Relationship - Searching

Love - Majekodunmi

Queen of My Castle said...

Well, I am a servile servant of Love, for its power is great. Love causes one to overlook the faults, flaws, and downfalls and instead care deeply for the person that possesses these imperfections while helping him/her to be strengthened in these areas without belittling. Love says that where you are weak I pick up the slack, and where I am weak, you pick up the slack, together creating a whole.


Well, I personally believe that we can't define love. It is what it is when you feel it for who you feel it for. Get it?

Hope your vals day end up being fabulous.

Bhookey said...

I agree with afrobabe, it is definitely a decision!
nice blog , i like the way u write!

Anonymous said...

first of all i disagre with you. love has been talked about WAY too much. it is the source of the corniest cliches ever invented. eew- enough with the lovin' already!!

i totally feel u on the other two things this month signifies. like the way you said:
Once again time has rudely reminded us that it waits for no man. It’s all well and good if we want to celebrate New Year forever but as far as it’s concerned. New Year ended one second after midnight on the first.

Honeywell said...

I hope you find it oh! And when you do, let me know what it is, because i have no clue either!

PS not all girls love titanic. that is actually one of my worst movies ever. Too many cliches for me.

fantasy queen said...

when u get the ans hi me up man...
just yesterday a fellow blogger sent this to me 'what love is: beautiful,magical,terrible...feels like joy, feels like pain...feel like sunshine,feels like excuse for dying, a reason to live...'by mary j blige, and i got tears in my eyes as i thot it thru. its the closest to the rightest thing i've ever written or heard about love...

darkelcee said...

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
arthritis too. That's love."

Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other."

Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs."

Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing,
you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"

Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who
you hate,"

Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)


"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it

Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at
all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody

You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."

Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Robert Redford."

Chris - age 7
Sorry it might be long but i got this from my a friend.....

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone
all day."

Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars
come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's

Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Jessica - age 8

A nd the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked
about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an
elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"

this is love!

darkelcee said...

sorry that was long

but i got it from a friend.

i think all that is LOVE!

uNWrItten* said...

cute..i still think valentines is a sorry excuse to show love when it is supposed to be shown all year round...however


Jaycee said... is not a figment of an imagination. It's real, but yeah...when u find it u'll tell us right???

Loll...I was one of those "girls" who cried during Titanic (my bad!!!).

I laughed out so loud when u said, "Leonardo froze in the Atlantic ocean, while Rose saved from the unforgiving chills of the ocean lived to watch him plummet into the shadowy depth of the ocean." Your description there is soooo hilarious!!!!!

Jeff Corbin said...

So much stuff about what love is and what love isn't.
I'd have to agree with 'Queen of the castle', 'Fantasy queen', and 'Darkelcee's definitions of least i did way back when my heart felt all that...crap?

Anyways, titanic was a ridiculously stupid movie, love is so many different things to so many people, and if anyone was to find it...cherish it...cus true love is honestly quite difficult to me. I know.

Anyone wanna be my val?

Nine said...

Let's talk about Titanic.The female main character abandons a lifeboat so she can stay and struggle with the male main character for a place in another lifeboat.
Then she ends up taking both the piece of debris/liferaft AND the lifejacket while her"love" dies of hypothermia.

You can argue love on the male character's part(you could also argue stupidity).I'd love to see anyone do so on the female character's part.With a straight face.

I disagree.I believe it's something that creeps up on you and ambushes you in your sleep.And once it has you,it makes you do irrational things.It generally requires tending,but not always.Can be a surprisingly hardy little bugger.

Out of the mouth of babes....Fair warning,I'm stealing those.Except for the last one.

Rayo said...

I like Owen Wilson's definition of love in Wedding Crashers: "True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another".

Anonymous said...

pasing thru..very fab so def coming back!!

little miss me said...

the mystery of love..when you do figure it out let me know..
have a lovely month ahead!

Anonymous said...

nice post!my brother joine me o jare i am valentineless too this year!



Onome said...

wish u d same...and i hope u find love soon...have it at d back of ur mind dat der are lots of pple looking for love too....o and thanks for stopping by my blog:-)