Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Make no mistake about it.
But it’s such a long way from dating. It’s almost as if it’s a
I’ve dated a couple of times my ridiculous life. Most of them
were fun. And yet after the last spell of love I decided that I
would go solo for a while. Try living life on my own. Hanging out
with guys. Catch up on all those things I missed when I was goo-
goo eyed for some female.
I’ll be honest with you, the days seemed different.
Take Saturday for instance.
Whereas in the past I would wake on a Saturday morning planning on
spending the most of it with my girlfriend. Gisting about the woes
of the week. And cuddling up with her to watch movie after movie.
I now spend the entire day arguing with friends about who the
likely winner of the premiership match(less likely...the more
likely would be a computer game), scheduled to be played later in
the day, will be.
Instead of making faces at my girlfriend during the day, nibbling
her ear lobe and playing who is the best kisser, while we debate
if we should get up and cook a meal or just snack it for lunch , I
spend my afternoons drinking beer or coke and watching the match
with my friends. Drabbed in the colors of my club and yelling
every single insult that pops into my head at fans of the opposing
After the match I spend the rest of the evening celebrating with
my teammates if a win is the outcome or defending the choices of
my coach and goal keeper when a loss is announced. Beer or coke
never leaves the table. We keep drinking and drinking. Caution
thrown to the wind after the third bottle..
Now if I was dating I would have been looking eagerly towards the
evening. When I would be free to go deeper into the cuddle and
kisses that i had shared with my girlfriend. Free to go crazy and
kiss her in all the secret places of her body. If a tub of ice-
cream was in the fridge I’d be assured a really really good night
with her ( Images. Images. Stay away!!). We wouldn’t get much
sleep though that’s for sure. Not if I had a say about it.
If she happened to wear the sexy red nightdress that accentuated
her curves and hugged the swell of her derriere …well then….there’d
definitely be no sleep for either of us. I’m an African with
Without a girl to end the night with though, Saturday night can
end in different ways . I can either admit my lack of sobriety
and go home. Or carry my Dutch courage to the night club with
single friends. Male and female. There we’ll dance the night away
laughing at each other and having as much fun as we can.
True there are no orgasms but the night is always a lot of fun.
With friends beside me we dance until dawn breaks. Not a care in
the world beyond what the next song is going to be.
Sundays are the puzzle. The same thing happens to me. Whether I’m
dating or not.
I lie in bed with a headache and my body worn out.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Ladies and gentlemen.
Gather round and let’s dive straight into today’s gist.
What’s the gist?
Why…We’re talking big heads today.
I’ve always wondered how life must feel for people blessed with
this particular feature. over the years I have formed some sort of
A guy with a big head would have, I suspect:
A really large Cap,
A lot more hair (duh)
A big headed girl would probably need a lot of lipstick
A particularly large neck…
All these are guesses mind you.
What I never suspected would be a feature was callousness and
plain out rudeness.
So I got a message from one of them a week ago.
Some guy named big head. I don’t know who he is or why he is
online but he must be pretty important. I asked wikipedia and
turned up a blank. No matter there’s always good old intuition.
I’m not sure for certain but I think he happens to be the head
(ignore the pun.) of the Big head organization
Which means he’s either got an extremely formidable appendage
attached to his neck or he just bribed his way to the job.
His position definitely wasn’t as a result of tack.
The world is full of people. Very often you get to meet the kind
that annoys us the most. The kind that believe they know it all.
They’ve seen it all, they’ve heard every single sob story there
is. Never mind if they’re just in their mid twenties.
Ptah. Forget about it.
Ladies and gentlemen I give you Big head.
In a lot of ways I suppose I’m helping him. Drawing notice to this
most annoying of individuals is probably what he wanted in the
first place. I can relate to that. If I was a guy, with a big
head, I’d be dying for attention as well.
Hey look at me…
Can your head do this?
But the reason why I am drawing attention to him is not to aid him
in his narcissism bid. But to help him. I think anyone who makes
fun of people in suffering is either truly evil or terribly sick.
Ever the optimist I’m voting the latter.
We’ve got a situation people. Let’s handle it.
I don’t know who you are big head or why my issue seems like the
cries of spoilt brat. I’d like to see you go through an entire
year of non stop pain. There’s a reason why people go crazy during
Quick tip. It’s not because of the ice cream.
I see his defense argument already. He wasn’t trying to insult me
but snap me out of my misery. I suppose the illogicality of
snapping someone out of being in pain never occurred to his royal
Hello! You’re in constant pain. Snap out of it. There we go….
It’s a funny thing .. I didn’t
beg for an audience. It was my blog.
My inner Sanctus sanctum.
And then big head came calling.
And incredibly ..in a virtual world free of the laws of physics,
I got hurt.
I ran from the pain in my leg in the real world and encountered a
pain in my butt in another,.
There are different people in the world; we have the big heads
.The ones who are up in everybody’s biz. Who know it all. Who have
seen it all. The ones we secretly pity.
The ones who never really get it.
And then there are others like me.
Who boast of a bigger part.
We see. We hear. we forgive.
And yes we pity.
Quit trying to be a smart ass Big head. Cynicism and sarcasm only
works for so long.
I suppose you’ve used them as a sort of defense mechanism to stem
of jokes about your …er…head. When exactly defense turned to
attack we’ll never know.
Have fun with your hobby.
By all means log unto www.somalianchildren.com.
You’ll find starving children who are desperately in need of your
illuminating view of life and suffering.
Till then we’ll be waiting. Feel free to drop in at any time.
We’ll be reading your story.
The first page has been fun,
Once upon a time there was a boy named Big head,
I cant wait to read the last.
Did he live happily ever after?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
It’s a beautiful day.
It’s been raining outside for the last 13 hours which means most people are stuck indoors. What this most insignificant of fact means is during the last 13 hours I have had more phone calls from people than I have had in as many days.
J-lo is yet to call.
Being sickled cell is hard enough. You’ve got red blood cells itching to tear around in your veins at over a 100 miles an hour. Problem is your veins are designed to handle speed limits of 15miles. So what happens?
You get traffic jams.
And lots of accidents.
When your veins get blocked I don’t care who you are, you’ve got two things left to do.
Cry and cry,
Hurts like hell.
And then some more.
But fortunately today is not one of those days. I’m not in pain. Veins are in good shape. Most of the annoying red blood cells are behaving. It’s a lovely day.
I’ve got a leg ulcer.
It’s as a result of all those high-speed chases and accidents. It’s an annoying large sore sited slightly above my ankle. It’s been there for the last 4 years. I’ve been through so many therapies that I’m all but set to hack the thing off. It’s probably a very very bad idea.
But it happens to be the only idea that I haven’t tried yet.
I’m getting a bit desperate.
Till I go cowboy and do it, I’m hoping eventually I’ll get a treatment tha'll actually work.
If anyone knows of any good therapy i'd be more than happy to hear it.
Most of the time I have the sore wrapped up in plaster so it doesn’t get worse.
And yes. It hurts just as bad.
Does anyone know Shakira?
SO here I am typing . Looking fondly at a picture of my friends and I. There are five of us. We’ve all got crazy looks on our faces as we yelled at the camera.
It was at a birthday party. Everything was perfect. Everyone was laughing. My leg was in order. No pain.
A moment of perfection frozen in a picture..
I wish my life was always like that.
But it never really is.
Probably never will.
It’s like some really wise guy said.
Life would be so much easier , if life was easy......
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
There’s always a silver lining. That’s what they say.
Lately I’ve been half convinced that the guy who made up the line was just like me. Another sickle cell guy with nothing but do but make up stuff.
In keeping with tradition I’ve invented a line as well .
100 percent original.
You all ready? Gather round friends. Take a seat.
Stop struggling there’s room for everyone.
Life would be so much easier, if life was easy!
I probably sound ripe for a couch and a shrink.
I’m not all gloom and doom.
Look, I’ll tell you a joke.
A bear and a rabbit were taking a dump in the wood one day.
Said the bear to the rabbit.
“Do you ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?”
“No!” the rabbit said .
And so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
If you’re blind , you get better hearing.
If, you’re dumb, you end up with a better perception of the world.
Sickled cell guys?
We get nothing.
I’ve spent half my life looking for the silver lining.
No super hearing.
No better perception.
Jeniffer Lopez stormed the scene five years ago. Lovely lady. Great body. Okay voice.
I called her .
Are you my silver lining?
there'll be more on a daily basis now!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Okay here’s the thing.
Twenty and then some years ago. God had me shipped to earth.
I really didn’t have much of a choice. Mars was still being rehabilitated. Venus was a definite no. and Jupiter was overbooked. It was either earth or I postpone my coming for another one thousand years.
No way that was going to happen.
I’d already missed the gladiator fights and the roman parties. If I waited another one thousand years I’d miss playstation, beyonce, shakira and the internet. Preferences not in that order.
And so I said …fcuk it. I’ll go to earth now.
Well…I didn’t actually swear but you get my drift.
And so … I got sent to earth.
And now here I am.
This is me.
And you are about to find out a lot more about me.
My name’s Toochukwu Edward Egungwu. I thought it was a pretty bad idea for a name until I heard of a guy named Arnold Schwarzenegger or a girl called ruxkaya Stolichnaya Hu. Besides those names mine sounds unbelievably cool. I’m probably described as crazy and, to that end, I’ve got crazier friends.
Initially when I was much younger they were predominantly male. But lately the girls made a case for themselves. We found out that having female friends can be really cool. They tell us those silly things that count. cutting your finger nails. Or having lovely breadth and how to be charming. Silly stuff really. Any way..now I have both male and female friends in my click. Life’s fun around them. We do lots of fun stuff together. Occasionally drinking. Talking about our relationship problems. Why women y women are so complicated and guys is clueless
My life sounds like a riot of fun doesn’t it?
But it isn’t.
You see God threw in an irony in this my rather fun sounding life.
So here’s the other thing.
I’m Sickle celled.
And that’s complicated too...Really really...