My flames gone.
Last year I was on fire.
I met a girl at some point in July.
Really stunning bomb. Lovely eyes. Fantastic legs. Her list of perfection was so long it would fill up an entire Cosmo magazine. She was a challenge.
So I walked up to her.
She said hi back.
We kissed 2 weeks later. And I’m not talking the Arabian kind.
I’m talking kissing as in French.
Me developing an Eiffel tower.
In August I met another chick. Lovely girl. Fantastic eyes. She might not have been as fantastic as Miss July but she was close. Close to a Cosmo mag edition. Now that’s hot isn’t it? Miss July had left me. Seems Miss July had a boyfriend. Some guy who lived in
So Miss July had left for true love. Sad but inevitable.
The rules of Rock paper scissors.
I’m hot and all, but love beats fire.
Miss July was gone. I was without a kiss mate. It was inevitable that I had to find someone else. SO come August I stopped feeling kinda sorry for myself and kinda got to work.
I went to the palms. I have a friend who told me that everything is sold at the palms. Even wives and girlfriends. He wasn’t wrong. The palms is a great pick up spot. It’s got al the essentials for romance. You meet a girl. You walk into a bar. Buy her a drink. Take her upstairs watch a movie. 2 movies after you hit the jewel store and buy her a diamond ring. You walk in single and you walk out engaged.
Thank you for shopping. Please come back again.
The advertising power of a face book community without the associated delay.
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Palms.
So I met Miss August at the palms.
Believe the Hype.
I was standing upstairs at the cinema lounge trying to decide between re-watching Die hard 4 or finally watching the latest Harry Porter installment.
I was staring thoughtfully at the stairs and then she walked up. I’ve told this story a hundred times but no one believes me. What’s the greatest single movie moment in James Bond’s Die another day?
Did you say the end credits?
Well... yes…. possibly.
But other than that what might be the next?
I’ll tell you.
Does anyone remember that scene?
Can anyone possibly forget?
I hear God watched the scene and whispered to himself
“Damn it. I’m good.”
Miss August knocked the scene out of my head.
Hold the bat, hit the ball, it’s a home run.
She cleared the scene right out of my head.
I had a mini orgasm on the spot.
She gave me a look as she topped the stairs. Her lip gloss begged to be smudged.
I gave a quirky smile. And walked over.
I was nervous mind you. My hands where all jittery. I tried clenching but that didn’t work so I just stuck em in my pocket. Fortunately I was wearing a pair of jeans so they didn’t look like I had chickens hidden in them.
I wish I had a drink.
Martini. Shaken not stirred.
Nice one Bond.
I was nervous. But I dug in and played my cards
Took me one minute and I had her number.
That was me.
The rest of the year went on like that.
Almost every week I met some gorgeous chick
Everything I said was funny.
Everything I did was cool. I was like Africans version of Casanova. Mr. Cool.
Dbanj’s mentor. A better looking Don Jazzy.
I was on fire.
My friends just didn’t understand it. What’s your secret? They asked me.
I just smiled, laughed and asked that I be not disturbed till the next morning,
I wish I had told them back then because whatever the secret was, I need it now.
You see my fire’s gone.
Gone. Gone. Gone.
All off a sudden I woke up to realize that I don’t have any chick to call when I’m lonely.
And it’s not from want of trying.
It’s like my fairy godmother went for some seminar in
My MOjo’s all gone.
I tried to chat up a chick yesterday.
She wasn’t even that good looking. Nothing like Miss Cosmopolitan. She barely managed to qualify for a sun girl.
But I was testing my powers. I wanted to see if I still had it.
You’re reading my post. You’ve seen the title. I don’t have to spell it out do I?
Because… I don’t have it.
She turned me down. Not badly mind you. She laughed. Said how cute I was. Ignored all my advances and walked away.
She walked away.
Is it a valentine thing or what?
SO now it’s been 2 months without a girl.
I can’t figure out what the hell’s going on.
And I ask you.
“Dude, Where’s my flame?”