Thursday, August 23, 2007

True Feelings

Hello everyone,
Ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome.
Gather round and let’s dive straight into today’s gist.
What’s the gist?
Why…We’re talking big heads today.

I’ve always wondered how life must feel for people blessed with

this particular feature. over the years I have formed some sort of

expectancy list.
A guy with a big head would have, I suspect:
A really large Cap,
A lot more hair (duh)
A big headed girl would probably need a lot of lipstick
A particularly large neck…
All these are guesses mind you.
What I never suspected would be a feature was callousness and

plain out rudeness.

So I got a message from one of them a week ago.
Some guy named big head. I don’t know who he is or why he is

online but he must be pretty important. I asked wikipedia and

turned up a blank. No matter there’s always good old intuition.
I’m not sure for certain but I think he happens to be the head

(ignore the pun.) of the Big head organization
Which means he’s either got an extremely formidable appendage

attached to his neck or he just bribed his way to the job.
His position definitely wasn’t as a result of tack.
No siree.

The world is full of people. Very often you get to meet the kind

that annoys us the most. The kind that believe they know it all.

They’ve seen it all, they’ve heard every single sob story there

is. Never mind if they’re just in their mid twenties.
World suffering?
Ptah. Forget about it.
Doesn’t exist.
Ladies and gentlemen I give you Big head.

In a lot of ways I suppose I’m helping him. Drawing notice to this

most annoying of individuals is probably what he wanted in the

first place. I can relate to that. If I was a guy, with a big

head, I’d be dying for attention as well.
Hey look at me…
Can your head do this?

But the reason why I am drawing attention to him is not to aid him

in his narcissism bid. But to help him. I think anyone who makes

fun of people in suffering is either truly evil or terribly sick.

Ever the optimist I’m voting the latter.
We’ve got a situation people. Let’s handle it.

I don’t know who you are big head or why my issue seems like the

cries of spoilt brat. I’d like to see you go through an entire

year of non stop pain. There’s a reason why people go crazy during

torture.
Quick tip. It’s not because of the ice cream.

I see his defense argument already. He wasn’t trying to insult me

but snap me out of my misery. I suppose the illogicality of

snapping someone out of being in pain never occurred to his royal

highness.
Hello! You’re in constant pain. Snap out of it. There we go….
It’s a funny thing .. I didn’t

beg for an audience. It was my blog.
My inner Sanctus sanctum.
And then big head came calling.
And incredibly ..in a virtual world free of the laws of physics,
I got hurt.
Again.

I ran from the pain in my leg in the real world and encountered a

pain in my butt in another,.

There are different people in the world; we have the big heads

.The ones who are up in everybody’s biz. Who know it all. Who have

seen it all. The ones we secretly pity.
The ones who never really get it.
And then there are others like me.
Who boast of a bigger part.
Big hearts.
We see. We hear. we forgive.
And yes we pity.

Quit trying to be a smart ass Big head. Cynicism and sarcasm only

works for so long.
I suppose you’ve used them as a sort of defense mechanism to stem

of jokes about your …er…head. When exactly defense turned to

attack we’ll never know.
Have fun with your hobby.
By all means log unto www.somalianchildren.com.
You’ll find starving children who are desperately in need of your

illuminating view of life and suffering.

Till then we’ll be waiting. Feel free to drop in at any time.
We’ll be reading your story.

The first page has been fun,
Once upon a time there was a boy named Big head,
I cant wait to read the last.
Did he live happily ever after?

6 comments:

Jeff Corbin said...

Oh you suck, tooch!
Anyways...where to begin...love the post...not up to par but what tha hell. Now if most people can take a closer look at the damn posts they'd realise that this is just fun filled and relaxed. What i guy can't intro himself and talk about whats up in his life?

Now as for the rest of you, that being bighead, catwalq, and mrs somebody. I'd have to say am disappointed. Especially in catwalq and somebody. But hey, to each their own.

I was gonna use some much needed energy to say a thing or two to bighead...but its honestly not worth it. Its quite clear the kid is just a moron that needs to fill his empty pathetic life by commenting on others that he has no idea about. Sad...but true.

Keep it up tooch! And for heaven's sake post something worth my time. You know i love reading about death and mayhem damn it.

Toochi said...

RESPECT!

bighead said...

"I see his defense argument already. He wasn’t trying to insult me

but snap me out of my misery..."


Lets see, what other excuse can I give now???

This big head must be empty afterall cos I'm out of excuses. Sorry to have hurt you the more. My bad. The comment was quite callous of me; I'm not sickle-celled and probably can't imagine what people like you go through... what more can I say?

UnNaked Soul said...

enough!
make love not...er... discord.. yea that...

now smile and shake... ok!

Jeff Corbin said...

*Smiles and shakes everyone's hands making a note to wash his after he was done*

hehe
Come come now...you know i luv everyone. Am a lover for heaven's sake...right? RIGHT?!

bumight said...

do i suspect beef?
make love,not war; make babies, not...ewww!